Storytelling Discipleship: A Practical Way to Build a Thriving Spiritual Community
A picture might be worth a thousand words, but a good story is a thousand words that can change someone’s life. From the time I learned to read and spell I wrote short stories, and I devoured books. I could see the pitfalls of characters and ache inside when they should have done something different. […]
Untangling Twisted Teachings: A Journey to Joy and Identity
By Jennifer Cochrane At 45, I began the painful but freeing process of learning to live from the heart Jesus gave me. Ironically, it was “church hurt” that became the catalyst for discovering true healing and identity. I was raised in environments steeped in legalism and performance-based Christianity—a rigid home, a fundamentalist school, and a […]
Creating an Oasis of Peace in an Imperfect Church Community
By Terri Sullivant I have always loved these verses in Psalm 107 (NIV): 29 He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. 30 They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. 31 Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and […]
Overcoming Church Hurt: Learn to Discern
By Terri Sullivant “But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrews 5:14 ESV My Immature Perspective: I became a follower of Jesus when I was 19. I was so excited to come to know Him and be a […]
Fortifying Your Ministry Against Church Hurt
By Hannah Ploegstra When church leaders get hurt there is often no one for them to blame or run to for help, and nothing perpetuates hurt worse than a chronically in-pain leader. Using the family as a grid, we can fortify our churches against the hurt that stems from overworked, joyless, under-cared-for leadership – for […]
The Difference Between Church Hurt and Spiritual Abuse
By Hannah Ploegstra God clearly uses pain for our good – but then, trauma can also cripple us for life and be perpetuated into the future as we do unto others the evils that have been done against us. How can we tell the difference between church hurt that increases maturity and spiritual abuse that destroys […]
Forgiveness & Church Hurt Part 1
By Jim Wilder If forgiveness means saying, “That’s OK” to things that aren’t OK then none of us should forgive. Forgiveness is not about pushing ourselves to the limit of what we can tolerate. Susan Shapiro in the Washington Post Eight Times It Might Be Healthier Not to Forgive makes the point that whenever forgiveness […]
When Church Hurts: Healing, Resilience, and Rediscovering Community
By Claudia Hendricks For many years the ideas of complex trauma and church were not associated inside my brain. When I thought of trauma it was related to sharp pain, and when I thought of church the image of a spiritual family came to mind, meaningful connections, and a life-giving space. A few decades ago, […]
Let’s Talk Church Hurt
What is Church Hurt? Church hurt occurs when someone experiences emotional, spiritual, or relational pain within a church community. It can happen in various ways: through unhealthy leadership, judgmental attitudes, exclusion, betrayal, and manipulation. Because the church is often seen as a place of safety and trust, hurt that happens there can cut especially deep. […]
Elder Leadership: Priorities for Thriving Communities
By Barbara Moon Elders look after their community. Elders are in the stage of life where strength is lessening while responsibility is increasing. Communities usually contain different age groups and can be of different sizes. It’s a good thing that elders have had lots of practice throughout all the other stages of maturity. Communities can […]
Part 2: What Gen Z Needs from Elders
By Hannah Ploegstra Gen Z is a delightful generation whose collective history has set them up to be hungry for input from elders. They were babies and toddlers when 9/11 happened, formed their group identities with the help of social media and iPhones, and when it was finally time to head out into the world […]
Part 1: Why Gen Z Needs Elders
By Hannah Ploegstra The people who are now on deck to be the next elders in our society are the generation we call “Baby Boomers” (born 1946-1964). Because one of the core missions of the Boomer generation in their young adult life was to break free from the controlling grip of their elders (parents, grandparents, […]
Becoming an Extra Parent
By Dr. Karen Struble, Clinical Psychologist In recent years the number of Western-world households without children has risen tremendously. Reasons abound. Some folks search for a suitable (a.k.a. real grown-up) mate, but cannot find one. Others suffer the pain of infertility or other medical conditions. Still others are fertile couples who choose not to bear […]
Flexible Diligence & Parenting
By Michael Sullivant One of the skills we are meant to learn during the parent stage of maturity is to gracefully balance and synchronize our attention and energies to meet the appropriate needs of our spouse, children, extended family, church, work, friends, and the broader community. I’m now almost 70 with five married adult children […]
“I have called you friends” – Mutually Satisfying Relationships and Adult Maturity
By Joca & Joel Prudhomme Jesus calls us His friends. This is an incredible thought, not just Him a friend to me but me a friend to Him also, sharing His heart, His joys, and His sorrows and working together with Him to achieve our Father’s purposes. He wants me to have this kind of […]
More Than Our Momentary Failures: Lessons from Parenting in the Child Stage
By Joel and Joca Prudhomme Before having children, I was sure that I would be a great dad. What a surprise to discover as a parent of young children that I seemed completely incapable of doing even half of the wonderful things that I had read in the parenting books! This grand adventure of raising […]
Understanding Child-Level Maturity
Last month we discussed the first stage of the maturity process, infant maturity. This month we will discover the next stage, child-level maturity. It is important to keep in mind that each stage builds upon – not replaces – the previous maturity stage. While the main goal of infant maturity is to learn to receive, […]
Responding to a Connection Invitation
By Marlene Allen “Mom! Dad! Look! Look at me!” is the cry of a young heart. “Look at me. See me. Validate me. Affirm me. Help me become my own person by acknowledging that my actions have meaning. Enjoy this moment with me. It’s part of me forming my own personality. It’s me venturing out […]
We Never Outgrow the Need to Receive
By Claudia Hendricks When we hear the word “infant” our mind instantaneously tends to dismiss the topic thinking it does not concern us as adults. But when we stop to see how God has designed our brains to grow an integrated identity at an infant level, things get interesting. The infant stage of maturity takes […]
Understanding Infant Maturity
If you’ve been around the Life Model, you’ve probably heard about the five stages of maturity: infant, child, adult, parent, and elder. If you are newer to the Life Model, the stages of maturity outline the growth process from infancy through adulthood in terms of relational skills, emotional health, and the ability to handle life’s […]