Fortifying Your Ministry Against Church Hurt
By Hannah Ploegstra When church leaders get hurt there is often no one for them to blame or run to for help, and nothing perpetuates hurt worse than a chronically in-pain leader. Using the family as a grid, we can fortify our churches against the hurt that stems from overworked, joyless, under-cared-for leadership – for […]
The Difference Between Church Hurt and Spiritual Abuse
By Hannah Ploegstra God clearly uses pain for our good – but then, trauma can also cripple us for life and be perpetuated into the future as we do unto others the evils that have been done against us. How can we tell the difference between church hurt that increases maturity and spiritual abuse that destroys […]
Forgiveness & Church Hurt Part 2
By Michael Sullivant In the popular series, The Chosen, the writers depict some significant “church hurt” (from the earliest days!) happening in the relationship between Simon Peter the fisherman, and Matthew the tax collector. Although this introduces some extra-biblical content to the storyline, it is not hard to imagine that there actually were these kinds […]
Forgiveness & Church Hurt Part 1
By Jim Wilder If forgiveness means saying, “That’s OK” to things that aren’t OK then none of us should forgive. Forgiveness is not about pushing ourselves to the limit of what we can tolerate. Susan Shapiro in the Washington Post Eight Times It Might Be Healthier Not to Forgive makes the point that whenever forgiveness […]
When Church Hurts: Healing, Resilience, and Rediscovering Community
By Claudia Hendricks For many years the ideas of complex trauma and church were not associated inside my brain. When I thought of trauma it was related to sharp pain, and when I thought of church the image of a spiritual family came to mind, meaningful connections, and a life-giving space. A few decades ago, […]
Let’s Talk Church Hurt
What is Church Hurt? Church hurt occurs when someone experiences emotional, spiritual, or relational pain within a church community. It can happen in various ways: through unhealthy leadership, judgmental attitudes, exclusion, betrayal, and manipulation. Because the church is often seen as a place of safety and trust, hurt that happens there can cut especially deep. […]
Resources for Creating Transformational Small Groups
(Part 10 of 10 from the article, “Through the Eyes of Heaven: Does ‘Talking It Through to Find Peace’ bring Shalom?”) By Jim Wilder and Ed Khouri Having explained the practices, pitfalls, and perils of talking things through to find “peace,” let’s turn our attention to resources that can help. These materials encourage the development […]
Grace as a Foundation for Peace in Your Small Group
(Part 8 of 10 from the article, “Through the Eyes of Heaven: Does ‘Talking It Through to Find Peace’ bring Shalom?”) By Jim Wilder and Ed Khouri The word grace was around for hundreds of years before Paul used it in his epistles. Grace is a relational term that implies an ongoing, mutual connection between […]
Breaking Through the Fog
(Part 7 of 10 from the article, “Through the Eyes of Heaven: Does ‘Talking It Through to Find Peace’ bring Shalom?”) By Jim Wilder and Ed Khouri Looking back over the previous blogs, it is clear we have been misapplying what the Bible says. In a sense, we have been creating fog around the topic. […]
The Shortcomings of Denying Wounds to Fake Peace and Building Community According to the Flesh
(Part 6 of 10 from the article, “Through the Eyes of Heaven: Does ‘Talking It Through to Find Peace’ bring Shalom?”) By Jim Wilder and Ed Khouri Hurt and wounding is destructive. Such experiences fester within us. That is why it is blatant stupidity to deny or try to toss away wounds by claiming they […]
Shortcomings of Enveloping Our Identities in Sticky Sin to Build Spiritual Community
(Part 5 of 10 from the article, “Through the Eyes of Heaven: Does ‘Talking It Through to Find Peace’ bring Shalom?”) By Jim Wilder and Ed Khouri Our perception of reality is skewed by all the wounds and hurts we experience — whether they result from our sin or someone else’s. Throughout every life, Satan […]
Enhancing Our Faces
By Michael Sullivant “As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” Proverbs 27:17 NKJV. Practicing the Life Model has much to do with the importance of faces … God’s face, the face of Immanuel, other’s faces, and our own face as well. God has given us, even in infancy, the […]