How We Are Escaping Enemy Mode In Our Marriage

By Ray and Deborah Woolridge When have you had an enemy mode conversation with someone you love? How does it feel to you? How does it make them feel? As a couple married 36+ years, enemy mode feels like falling down a cliff. Falling into enemy mode is much easier than climbing out of it.  […]

Relational Discussion or Enemy Mode Argument?

My enemy mode tendencies almost did some damage recently. Becoming relational takes time as neural pathways (FAST track) get retrained.  I almost fell into a well-worn path in a discussion that ended relationally but could have taken a turn.   My wife Deborah and I are moving this summer.  After hundreds of hours on house hunting […]

The World Needs What the Life Model Provides

We were first introduced to the Life Model in 2006, by Karl Lehman, and attended our first Thrive Training in 2007. Thrive Training and many of the other Life Model resources we have used have been very beneficial to our individual growth and healing, as well as to our marriage. We have also witnessed over […]

Flames of Fury

The other day Chris and I had a couple of interactions that did not go smoothly. Ok, this is an understatement. I walked away from them feeling FURIOUS. I felt boiling mad…imagine steam coming out of my ears! I tried to calm down, but it wasn’t working like usual. Thankfully, the kids were not around […]

4 Ways to Help Your Husband Grow

Wish there was a way you could help your husband grow? Every day our ministry gets mail from women around the world wondering what they can do in their marriages to make a difference for their families. Today, in this short post, I want to share some ideas we have seen truly help. 1. Accept […]

Marriage Takes Practice

My 13-year-old son recently attended a Harlem Globetrotters basketball game with my father as a Christmas gift. He returned from the game eager to share his amazement of the spectacle he had just witnessed. Story after story of the skill and entertainment flowed from his lips. I asked him how he thought the players had […]

10 Ways Life Model Works Builds Relationships

Over the years, many people have been attracted to Life Model Works for the benefits of joyful relationships. Here are 10 ways Life Model Works helps relationships build and grow. We each do our own inventory of our relational health, growth, points of irritation or stagnation, freely deciding with new safe and loving support to […]

Moving Relationships from Bitter to Sweet

In one of my favorite moments as a journalist, years ago I joined the friendly banter of a popular men’s watering hole, Ben’s, the first African-American barber shop in Madison, Wisconsin. The first thing you noticed was the high-amperage joy, men’s safe teasing, inter-generational trust, and rhythmic guffaws. After being warmly welcomed, I asked a […]

Relational Skills for Real Life Relationships

Before I can talk about relationships, we need to look at relational skills. Before I can look at relational skills, we need to understand joy. Every time I write about joy, I feel a compulsion to define it. We all long for “happier” lives but we make a huge mistake when we switch out those […]

Relationship Skill: Stop Overwhelming People (and being overwhelmed yourself!)

walking in the rain with umbrellas

Have you ever been around someone who talks endlessly? I think we’ve all met that one person who never even seems to breathe between sentences, let alone allows you to respond in between streams of thoughts. Have you ever sat in a classroom or a conference or even a sermon and had the speaker/teacher just […]

If communication alone solved marriage problems

If communication alone solved marriage problems we would: solve our arguments with text messages email a solution talk a little longer and then feel understood listen our way to satisfaction … Common wisdom is that improving communication will improve a marriage. Now after decades of trying and dozens of approaches to improving communication, we should have […]