Becoming an Extra Parent
By Dr. Karen Struble, Clinical Psychologist In recent years the number of Western-world households without children has risen tremendously. Reasons abound. Some folks search for a suitable (a.k.a. real grown-up) mate, but cannot find one. Others suffer the pain of infertility or other medical conditions. Still others are fertile couples who choose not to bear […]
Flexible Diligence & Parenting
By Michael Sullivant One of the skills we are meant to learn during the parent stage of maturity is to gracefully balance and synchronize our attention and energies to meet the appropriate needs of our spouse, children, extended family, church, work, friends, and the broader community. I’m now almost 70 with five married adult children […]
More Than Our Momentary Failures: Lessons from Parenting in the Child Stage
By Joel and Joca Prudhomme Before having children, I was sure that I would be a great dad. What a surprise to discover as a parent of young children that I seemed completely incapable of doing even half of the wonderful things that I had read in the parenting books! This grand adventure of raising […]
Child Maturity – Learning What Truly Satisfies
By Michel Hendricks Have you ever been hungry, and intended to eat a little snack before dinner and ended up eating way too much and ruining your appetite? Have you ever gotten so obsessed by a sport or hobby that you ignored other important things? Have you ever been hooked on a substance or behavior […]
Beyond Comfort – How Difficult Tasks Fuel Growth
By Michael Sullivant One of the outstanding tasks required to achieve full “childhood” maturity (age 4-14) – according to Dr. Wilder’s 20+ years of research across the centuries and cultures – is to learn to do hard things that might even cause some pain. Generally, this was a big gap in my childhood development. I […]
Understanding Child-Level Maturity
Last month we discussed the first stage of the maturity process, infant maturity. This month we will discover the next stage, child-level maturity. It is important to keep in mind that each stage builds upon – not replaces – the previous maturity stage. While the main goal of infant maturity is to learn to receive, […]
Responding to a Connection Invitation
By Marlene Allen “Mom! Dad! Look! Look at me!” is the cry of a young heart. “Look at me. See me. Validate me. Affirm me. Help me become my own person by acknowledging that my actions have meaning. Enjoy this moment with me. It’s part of me forming my own personality. It’s me venturing out […]
Acting Like Myself In Row 6
By Shari Ausley, Life Model Works Board Member Bio: Shari Ausley is a new empty-nester. In 2005 she started a K-12 Christian school in central Florida, a member of Ambleside Schools International. Prior to that she was in full-time Christian service with Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ). She currently serves on the Board of […]
Parenting Kids Through Summer
By Chris M. Coursey, THRIVEtoday President Summertime is meant to be fun for our families. We play at swimming pools, soak in sunshineat the beach, go camping, run outside, ride bikes, and more adventures. Summer means comingup for air before school starts in the Fall. Summer is officially in full swing. In the past week, […]
A Sweet Spot For Kids
by Marlene Allen, Life Model Works Board Member Twelve-year-old Tess had one question for me as her children’s pastor, “Why is God always mad at us? I picture Him with a bat ready to get me if I do something wrong”, This simple question began my quest to discover why children would have such a […]
Tap the Brakes On Social Media
by Michel Hendricks A social experiment was unleashed on the world in 2007 by the creation of the smartphone. This development, combined with social media, is changing the way we relate to each other. At Life Model Works, we often hear from parents asking us for ideas about parenting in the smart phone era. Because […]
9 Questions about Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a big deal, and it is a bigger topic than one might consider. Dr. Jim Wilder fielded questions at a conference where he spoke about learning to forgive. His answers to those questions are provided here. Question #1 — Can joy be “faked”? Or, can someone trick themselves into believing they are experiencing authentic […]
The Tendency Towards Intensity
There are times even the best parenting advice and guidance does not work. As parents, we need to learn how to stay ourselves with our children even when things go wrong and it seems our best strategies are not working. Thankfully, love covers a multitude of sins. My seven-year-old Matthew has a tendency towards intensity. […]
Raising Resilient Children
I want to have a heart to heart with you about raising resilient children. These are children who bounce back and recover when things go wrong. Children who respond to the curve balls of life and relationships with flexibility and fortitude. Children who can quiet and calm themselves on the good and bad days. I […]
Remaining Relational with Flattened Flapjacks
Last night my family enjoyed our weekly tradition of breakfast for dinner. As my boys were devouring their pancakes, I remembered the item I found under the living room rug last week. Pancakes. Yes, that’s correct. Pancakes! A few weeks ago my sons thought it would be funny to sneak a few pancakes and hide them […]
When Brotherly Love Heads South
I just walked out of the shower this morning when I heard my son sobbing in his room. I was surprised by this sound so I quickly ran into his room and scooped him in my arms. I asked, “Andrew, tell me what happened!” Between sobs and slobber, Andrew managed to utter, “Matthew says he […]
I Missed My Son's Stop Sign
Recognizing overwhelm signals (Skill 9) and staying connected during intense emotions without going over the top, known as interactive quieting (Skill 15), are two key skills we need to sustain healthy relationships. In an ideal world, we develop these skills early in life as parents, family members, teachers, coaches, etc. use these crucial skills to […]
The Appreciation Tree
This morning Andrew woke up in a sour mood. I noticed his brain’s relational circuits (RCs) were off and after several attempts to help him turn them on again, none of the normal solutions worked. His whining continued, even after I took some time to attune with his feelings and comfort him in his upset. […]
The Fun of Joy and Rest
My oldest son Matthew is now in school full days, so I try to find meaningful ways to connect with Andrew when he is home. Andrew is the youngest child behind his big brother, Matthew, who happens to have a very big, out-going personality, Andrew tends to take a backseat to Matthew’s antics during interactions. […]
Children's Stuffies & Bonds & How Loved We Are
Are there any little children in your life? Do they have something they cannot go to sleep (or live) without? Maybe it’s a blanket that’s tattered and full of holes. Maybe it’s a stuffed animal that doesn’t smell very good. Some people call these loveys, blankies, or stuffies. Stuffies is a kind of new […]