By Barbara Moon
Elders look after their community. Elders are in the stage of life where strength is lessening while responsibility is increasing. Communities usually contain different age groups and can be of different sizes. It’s a good thing that elders have had lots of practice throughout all the other stages of maturity. Communities can get messy.
Community can range from a family to a small group to a church—or even an organization. An elder’s focus will depend on the range of needs as well as his or her strengths. Is he good at helping people in crises? Is she good at helping parents? Are they good at moving infants and children towards the adult stage? (I often say that we could change the world if we just got more people to the adult stage.) All these tasks, and others, could be needed at any time. The complexity of caring for a community calls for a close walk with Jesus regardless of the elder’s strengths.
In my community, besides depending on Jesus for guidance, I have a couple of other mature people with whom I consult, especially when someone is in crises. We spend lots of time helping parents, especially parents of teens. Most everyone is aware of the maturity stages and desires help moving forward. When we are studying the chapter in Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You about maturity, we spend almost three months going over the details. Everyone is valued regardless of their stage of maturity. Everyone is free to share when they fail without fear. Most are learning not to “fix,” others. Joy, quiet, and appreciation are common; questions are welcome.
Another important task that elders perform is hospitality. Hospitality helps people know they belong. When the community is together, the atmosphere welcomes everyone. The physical arrangement does not have to be elaborate or fancy. Joy smiles and hugs (if appropriate) set the stage. Authentic sharing of both victories and failures helps people feel safe. Food is an option. Extra fun times are helpful.
We create belonging around us, and elders model how it’s done. It is not necessary to have the “gift of hospitality” because creating belonging is more an attitude of the heart. Do I love people? Am I interested in their ups and downs? Do I listen well? Can I synchronize and attune with others? We can quickly see the elder stage is very unselfish. Elders are in tune with their group.
Each week in our groups we share a moment of appreciation or a moment of satisfaction or dissatisfaction, and a moment listening to Immanuel. Because it is alright to mess up, people share how they were not satisfied with how they handled something. The lesson format is open for questions, discussion, encouragement, exercise practices, and sometimes correction. It seems we have hospitality that encourages growth, relationships, and belonging. Every community needs elders.
Want to learn more? Join Barbara Moon and the Life Model Works team for the Redefining Elders of Hesed Communities Seminar here.
