A picture might be worth a thousand words, but a good story is a thousand words that can change someone’s life. From the time I learned to read and spell I wrote short stories, and I devoured books. I could see the pitfalls of characters and ache inside when they should have done something different. I grappled with the book’s ending like it was my own life I was reading about.
In movies and books, when you can feel everything the character experiences, the storyteller has done a good job. It’s no wonder Jesus taught his disciples with stories. He helped shift their paradigm to think like Him through parables. We often forget this tool of storytelling in discipleship today.
In times where I have felt like I have no idea what to do or how to handle certain life situations, I desperately seek out the stories of those around me. Even if I don’t know someone very well, but I know they have walked through life situations similar to the ones I am trying to figure out, I reach out to hear their story. People are often so excited and honored to share their story. For the storyteller, it is a time to share and remember how they have experienced God’s goodness in the highs and lows of life. For the listener, it is a chance to find renewed hope and courage to continue the journey. Both are encouraged spiritually, and a relational bond forms between the storyteller and the listener so they can continue encouraging one another.
It’s important to note a few things to look for when you are desiring to learn from someone’s story:
- The person has an authentic connection to Jesus.
- You feel emotionally and spiritually safe sharing parts of your story with this person. (If you are asking for insight from someone’s story, it is likely that it will require you to share part of your current struggle, so they know what parts of their story are relevant to you).
- This person has more maturity than you in this specific area. This does not mean they are mature in every area, it just means you see the fruit of their life is good- and something you want in your own life- in the specific area you are asking for help.
- A bonus: This person has the capacity for you to follow up with them in case you want to hear more or ask questions about their story at another time.
But as a storyteller, what is the most effective way to tell your story? Within the context of the Life Model, we recommend sharing stories as a “4+ story”. They are called “4+” because it engages all four parts of the relational brain, plus the logical/verbal part of the brain. By telling a 4+ story, the storyteller thoroughly describes the situation. The storyteller is emotionally open, describes feelings and body sensations from the memory, and is overall unguarded toward the listener about the story. The storyteller creates emotional safety and connection to the listener through the storytelling process.
When authentic storytelling is lacking in discipleship, it is easy to put up a facade that we are perfect Christians who have no earthly struggles – and if we dare remove the mask to show weakness, we’re often made to feel lesser than those who still have their masks on. We lose touch with one another and prescribe impersonal “spiritual” solutions to people’s problems. We don’t give one another what we need and we feel abandoned, ostracized, or disappointed by the family of God.
However, when we are a people who are comfortable with our stories and use them to encourage each other to grow and mature, we are on the path to true transformation. In the storytelling process, we must acknowledge both our weaknesses and appreciate our strengths. This gives us room to receive guidance from others ahead of us and give guidance to those a few steps behind us. This fosters humility. We are in touch with who we were, who we currently are, and who we want to be in Christ. We remember the grace from God and His people who helped us in the past, and we know we are no better or worse than our fellow believers who may be in a different part of the journey.
Our friends at THRIVEtoday and Deeper Walk International have some great resources on how to tell a 4+ story if you are interested in learning more:
Skill 7 Synchronized Storytelling » THRIVEtoday
Four-Plus-Story-worksheet-.pdf (deeperwalkinternational.org)
By Jen Strohkorb
